I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
