Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
