We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
