You can't motorboat a personality
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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