So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
