Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize