im having a threesome with these popsicles
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
