Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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