so explain again why im purple
no
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
