they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
