You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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