is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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