i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
