Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize