nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
