i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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