i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
