oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
