I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
