I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
