so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We got so high we made milksteak
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
