my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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