That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
