I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
