Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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