Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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