I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
