Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Randomize
