Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize