He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Soap is not a condiment
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
It's rum buckets o'clock
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
