Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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