i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
