he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
