We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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