talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
