Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
