Only a mothe r could love this liver
She announced her abortion via fbk
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
