Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
