so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
