Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
