This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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