Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
