i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
