worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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