how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
