:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
