I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize