I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
