I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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