as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
How's work?
Spinning.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
