the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
