Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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