he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
