did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
