Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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