I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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