she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
