I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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