I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
