I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
