yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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