Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
