I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
