You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
