This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
