Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
