I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
