If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
