All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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